Month: January 2012

Hey Daddy

“Hey Daddy.  What should I be when I grow up?”

“I don’t know.  What do you want to be?”

“I think I wanna be a writer like you.”

“Okay.  That’d be cool.”

“Or maybe a teacher like you.”

“That’d be cool, too.”

“Or maybe a cat.”

“A cat?”

“Yeah.  Because you know how much I love cats.”


“It’s gonna be a tough decision, Daddy.”

The Things Dads Do

I used to be a huge American Idol fan.  Like, I counted the days until it started and then studied the contestants, trying to spot the winner and then watched with great anticipation to see who would actually win.

Then Simon left and Jennifer Lopez joined the show and I vomited all over my shoes and lost interest.

But now my daughter is a huge fan and begs to watch it, even though Jennifer Lopez’s voice makes me want to rip my ears off and learn sign language.

So tonight, we are eating quesadillas on the couch and I’m pretending that I care about Idol because she loves to watch it so much.

These are things that dads do for their kids.

But really – I can’t stand Jennifer Lopez.

It’s Official

Okay, it’s official.  Today, January 3rd, is the official release date for Stay At Home Dead.  It should be available at all fine bookstores near you as you read this.

This is a book that I love.  I wrote it for no one but myself.  I just wanted to write something that made me laugh.  I didn’t plan on ever seeing it in print because I put so much ridiculousness into the book.  But, fortunately, people much smarter than me knew better and now people will get a chance to read it.  Thank you to Stacia Decker and Peter Senftleben for being smarter than me.

I hope the book makes you laugh, too.